Dear Google, (Other search engines are available)

Dear Google

Over the past year you have become a good friend to me, there for me in my times of need, moments of panic, and pure baby related paranoia. You never once laughed at the random things I searched, questioned my parenting abilities, or mocked my already growing worry that I was failing as a Mummy. As for in that brief moment that I confided in you, it felt like I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.

Here are some of my searches I have made over the past year (I am hanging my head in shame/embarrassment right now):

1. What are the black wiggly things in my baby’s pooey nappy? (Yes, google images were also required for this). Worry not, Pumpkin had not been infected with a biological disease, it was the aftermath of eating a banana for the first time.

2. Is it normal for a baby to….feel/do/smell/look? Believe me, I probably asked this at least 5 times a day. Just thinking about it now makes me cringe!!

3. What does teething really look like? Followed by are Amber Bracelets just a load of hippyguff? (Sorry to the believers out there). Pumpkin didn’t cut his first tooth until he was 11 months old, I thought he was teething at 5 months!!

4. Too much information warning!!! How long am I going to bleed for, as this does not feel normal and seriously don’t you think my body has gone through enough as it is?

5. What is the difference between baby blues and Postnatal Depression/Anxiety? I love Pumpkin more than anything in the world, so why did I feel like I wanted to cry one minute and the laugh hysterically the next or at the other extreme not go out?

6. What consistency should food purées be? Believe me…I made purées ranging in consistency between water and wall paper paste; and I am still unsure what was right for which stage of weaning, but still Pumpkin loved them all (or at least pretended he did)!

7. What jobs can I do working from home? I found my self searching this almost daily for the first four months of Pumpkins life, as I couldn’t imagine life away from him; it just broke my heart. Then I realised, that as Pumpkin got more mobile, there was no way on this earth was I going to be able to work at home and have him playing at my feet happily and contented. The reality would be far from the romanticised view I had after he was born…I would have a trashed home, a little boy with arms reaching up for cuddles and big blue eyes that would look at me and give me immediate mummy guilt for not paying him enough attention.

8. How can I make bath time safe? Pumpkin turns into Houdini at bath time, so far, he has managed to break/escape out of 3 bath seats and triumphantly stand in the bath whilst shouting “I do” at us. Sadly, my dear friend Google has failed on this point and therefore bath time for the foreseeable future is a two man job!

9. Where has my baby learnt the skills of a poo ninja when it comes to changing a nappy? I feel like I have lost all control of Pumpkin when it comes to a dirty nappy; he has mastered stealth moves which means he can flip out of a half-off nappy (taking half the contents with it) whilst fighting off all my attempts to catch him and turn him back over. Again, a Google fail in terms of advice…short of early potty training (I don’t think I can handle that quite yet), I have to sometimes, OK, who am I kidding, quite frequently turn to YouTubeKids, to distract Pumpkin long enough to clean him up.

10. Am I wasting my Doctors time if…? I quickly learnt the quick answer to this is NO! If you are worried, your parenting instinct has kicked in and you need to get your baby checked over. Who cares if you have made a fuss over nothing and your baby smiles contentedly at you and the Dr (Thank you, Pumpkin for that one!!). It’s always best and safer to get them checked out, after all not all of us have medicine degrees to give us that ability to rule out the worry that every cough, cry and scream that comes out of our baby, isn’t a serious illness.

Over the past few months, my searches have changed and seen me look up fun things like birthday cake ideas, tricycles and things to do in Somerset. Like old friends, Google, our relationship has changed; always dependable, we pick up where we left off and there are always good laughs to be had – after all when you your trapped in a chair with a toddler asleep on you, the searches can become a bit random…like conversations with a best friend after one to many Ciders/Gins/Wines/Vodkas/Coffees/Proseccos.

Thank you for being there!

The Lupie Mummy x

*please drink and use Google wisely.
**or like me, liken the feeling of being drunk to being sleep deprived and googling random stuff to keep awake, so not to wake the baby (before they are in a deep enough sleep) with the sound of heavy duty snoring that only a person with sleep deprivation can do when sleep finally washes over them!!
***This blog has not been sponsored by Google, it is just my own personal choice of search engine…others are available, I think!

 

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